Fun with Spam

This just arrived in my Sentinel email inbox today:

“Hello dear.
My name is Miss Maria Bernardo, I wish to ask for your true friendship ,I wil l explain more of my self as soon as i hear from you.Ihave important reasons to contact you and i will like to hear from your open mind and interest.I wish you happy day and may God bless you as i wait your positive respond.”

While I will clearly not be responding, I can’t say I’m not tempted. Let me ponder all the responses I could craft…..

Dear Maria,

I appreciate your kind offer of friendship. I look forward to many long summer days spent creating daisy chains, braiding each other’s hair and frolicking through fields. I assume that the pleasure of your company will come at a cost, though. Shall I wire you my life savings to an unidentified account in Nigeria?

I await your next response with bated breath.

Can’t wait to be BFFs!

-Miss Jessica M. Pasko

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